Proceedings

Yes: Happy Friday, love.

Currently running errands and getting laundry done done before my Ex comes over to look at the Paperwork with me and see what has to be signed in the presence of a notary- it looks like most of it does.

Reading the damn instructions for filing these forms that are required is difficult enough, which is embarrassing. I’m terrible at understanding what the hell is being said in a legal document. To me, these things truly feel like they’re written in a language I only know a few words of. Mortgage documents, financial stuff, all that as well as legal documents, are like math to me. It takes a lot of effort to even figure out what is being asked, or what they’re trying to establish with this language. Uurrrrhhgghh. It makes me feel really fucking stupid & flaky & stereotypically Woman-y. Similar to the way I feel on car lots or in auto service/repair settings. Feeling ashamed of being stupid about something, plus feeling vulnerable because of that, plus fear I’ll be taken advantage of, plus feeling ashamed about contributing to a degrading stereotype, plus anger that if I were a man I wouldn’t know what it would feel like to have my basic intelligence underestimated so often….it all feels shitty. About 10 years ago I was so furious and depressed when I had to leave a car dealership in order to come back with my husband so that those assholes would stop attempting to talk me out of every choice I had made in a transaction that was supposed to be simple. They had a used car I wanted to buy (settle for, really) and USAA fixed a discounted price and financing for me ahead of time. They were a participating dealer in the program they had for members of USAA; however, the short straw of a good old boy I had drawn decided to try to talk me out of my own financing arrangement and into their financing deal. And he tried to talk me into another, more pricey car as well, after acting derisive about the one I came there to get. He wouldn’t give it up, wouldn’t stop arguing and manipulating, no matter what I said or did. Except for leaving and bringing someone with male genitalia along with me so I could buy this fucking car from them the way they were supposed to do it. I’m still angry about that.

Anyway, we have to have these notarized and then I have to take it down to the county clerk’s office and file it all and request a hearing date for a judge to go over everything and issue a decree, then about a month later I’m supposed to do something else- send my ex his copies, I think. Then it’s final and official, or at least that’s what I think these pages of instructions are telling me. I thought this would be much simpler, filing for an uncontested divorce w/ no kids, no shared property. After a couple of false starts with the process because I was using the wrong set of forms, some legal advice I got (not from that fakeass bastard) gave me some resources on how to do it myself the correct way.

Now, My Papers are all filled out, as far as I can tell. They need notary seals ‘n signatures, a month with the county, and a judge appointment. All of this stuff is a pain in the ass for me to deal with, but necessary. It’s happening, though, and Hooray….Having this finished is within sight. My ex is still fine with the divorce, still doing well on his own, like I am, and also adjusting well to being an individual single person, not part of a couple. There are no roadblocks whatsoever, in case that’s worrying you.

Except Bossy is currently asleep on the Papers:

She’s Approved them, at least-

God, I miss you. I love you.

Why so quiet, darling?

Please tell me something.

X

O